Hey people !
You probably all wonder where I am hiding. Well, I might not post that often any more, here on LJ, but I won’t forget you, my Frolijah Friends, I have been stuck, clueless, listless for a while, and now I hope that with the right support, I’m gonna get on the right track again :)
A few weeks ago, I had this very good conversation with my adviser, we had to discuss this sudden change, why did I wanted to follow a course webdesign, there was a mainer, deeper reason, and she just told me right away, I just wanted to postpone the fact of actually “starting” to work, and I knew she was right, it was actually the fear inside, that would keep me back from taking the plunge. The insecurity, the doubt, the resistance, the lack of motivation. I told her I read on the Add forum, many people did something in the webdesign field but her reply was immediately like, ah ah, don’t get too much influenced by them, it doesn’t mean because they’re Add and they manage to do such stuff, you, are capable too. You got to know yourself first, what can willemijn do, is she creative, is she capable, or is it just an aim too high. I knew I had been kinda unrealistic maybe, but still she knew I could do at least something else, in the broad “multimedia” branch, because I told her I had been having this interest in Photoshop and working with pictures, colours, backgrounds and all. She showed me other pages, of graphic jobs, like publicity folders, and other printing works. Now, I am supposed to follow a more intensive & supportive job training, an orientation training course, to get to now myself and my work capacities better, also I have to seek another female psychologist, because the man I used to be in therapy with is making me very uncomfortable, he’s a mean mister mustard, each time im in his office I can’t wait for getting out there, in the fresh air, again. The communication and feedback really sucks :( They gonna follow me up,(the OTB) which is a more specified, supporting area of the VDAB (known as Flemish service for work provision) it will be a greater support to get me on the right track again. I feel like everything is gonna turn out okay, that I’ll find my way in life, the year 2009 is gonna be so much luckier for me :) First I need this attest of my psych, which has a mention of me having ADD and difficulties to find my way in the job market, soo the OTB needs that to get their therapy started, and then, to get me join training, internships, and integration on the work floors. Soo that ill get over my initial hesitation and find my right vibe again in job land. Seems, like I talked really much (I was in her office an hour) and fast cuz the woman said, “whow you’re quite a tiring chat”, but she said it on a joking way :P and she also noticed my “restless” behaviour while talking, and she said are u sure you’re ADD and not ADHD? :P I said, well mainly I am ADD, because there are some specific differences u should be aware of, I also showed her this article of Wikipedia, we get along better then in the beginning, because she seemed severe and all, she is straight and always gets to the point, but I know she has a kind and understanding nature, she’s no psych, but she wants the best for me.
BTW: I know Christmastime is approaching, slowly but steady, and I’d still love to send/ receive those beautiful personalized, or shud I say “elijahlized” cards :P to/ from you. I’ve still got most of your addresses… I guess, but I’m not sure, after all this girl dares to get her stuff lost sometimes *oops*:$
And hey it has been SNOWING today :D with a temperature of 4-5°
Seems like King Winter has made his entrance here in Belgium.
I hope you’re doing all fine out there!